getting to 27

23 08 2010

I turn 27 years old tomorrow.  But this post is not to celebrate me.  It’s just a birthday; I just happened to shuffle onto this mortal coil on August 24th many moons ago. Whoopity doo.

As I’m comin’ in hot on my 27th year, the only people I can think about is the people who saw me to 27;  Even the most badass of badasses (such as myself, ahem) has a core support system. The people who support them, worry about them, care for them in mental and physical sickness, or just love them when there’s nothing else to be done.  My people really deserve a good portion of the credit to me being… well, ALIVE and having at least some of my shit together.

My father, whom with I had a strained relationship until I turned 18 and he gave up trying to control me; A blue-collar hero raising what can only be described as “a gaggle of children” who were all exactly like him, which is to say there were ten stubborn motherfuckers in one household.  My mother, the very definition of independence, trying to parent her kids better than she had been parented– sometimes succeeding, sometimes not– all while working and going to school.  My siblings, all eight million of them; We seem to share one heartbeat and don’t need phone calls or emails to communicate.  My inner circle of friends, endlessly giving people who have both watched and helped me as I figure out who I am and my place in this world.  They’ve been patient, but are also happy to bitch-slap me back into reality when I need it.  And my kids, the biggest personalities I have ever known; Living, breathing lessons in humility and grace and the healing power of a fart joke.

I feel confident in saying that I’ve disappointed these people and made them worry about me countless times– For example, maybe when I was on all those drugs for all those years.  Could’ve been when I decided to just not go to high school anymore.  Might have been when I was living on a park bench of my own free will and didn’t care to let anyone know where I was.  Or perhaps when I was a stripper for a little bit;  Hi Dad! Let’s pretend that never happened, mmkay?  Or maybe when I was hanging with the wrong crowd in the wrong car and was involved in the wrong police chase and ended up with a brain injury.  Or when I was navigating my way through– and OUT– of a flaming shitbag of a marriage to an alcoholic/cokehead.  These are just a few possible examples of the times those people have saved me from myself.  Just taking wild guesses here, people.

But I’m here now and I’m turning 27 and you guys, get this:  I think I’ve got shit figured out.  I mean, not entirely– life is a constantly-changing equation after all– but the basics of me and who I am and what the fuck I’m going to do with my life.  And I wouldn’t have made it this far without all those incredible people who put up with incredible levels of bullshit from me over the years.

So yeah, tomorrow is my birthday, but more importantly, tomorrow is the 27th anniversary of all those people not giving up on me. And that is worth celebrating.

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9 responses

23 08 2010
NTM

you’ve been an inspiration, a shoulder to cry on, my best friend & confidant. when i struggled with climbing out of the depths of despair you threw me a lifeline and did it with such compassion.

you know how to reign in my “looney” for which i am always & eternally grateful.

you’ve followed (and even lead) me “down the yellow brick road” time after time without questioning it – and you’ll never know how much that’s meant to me. thank you.

thank you for being a role model and a survivor.

your kids are so lucky.

love always,

-jj

(NTM)

23 08 2010
sarcasmically

well thanks for making me cry, asshole.

23 08 2010
NTM

oh shut the fuck up. you deserved it.

😀
xoxo

23 08 2010
Holmes

Happy birthday, yo. Glad you’re not dead so that I can read your funny tweets. See, totally selfish motivations on my part.

23 08 2010
sarcasmically

hey, thanks. but in truth it’s really me subjecting the world to my tweets.

23 08 2010
Cmaaarrr

You hit the nail on the fucking head, dude. I’m talking with a solid, well-placed sledge strike.

Life’s not a game, but you’ve been able to win just the same. The people who’ve helped, in spite of you and themselves, deserve the celebratory nod.

Congrats! More awesome lies ahead.

23 08 2010
jules

THAT is beautiful! And although we NEVER have it ALL figured out, as long as we get closer to being who we are at the core and can recognize those around us who helped us along the way, we’re making progress.

Happy Birthday, my Friend!

23 08 2010
sarcasmically

Thanks Cmaaarrr! Even if it got less awesome from here on out I’d still be pretty well off.

23 08 2010
donna

I was just thinking about when I started reading your site, and I want to say it was like 2004, which means you were 21!!! A wee beh-beh.

Happy Birthday! I’m glad you survived thus far.

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