My name is Bri, and I don’t want to define myself completely by saying “I’m a 27 year-old mother of two”– Although I am both of those things I am also so! much! more! For example, I am silly, bitchy, a nerd, bad at math, addicted to Ghost Hunters, stubborn, always cracking lame jokes, and ready to rock you like a hurricane.

I enjoy red meat and candy and a good comedy and Dunkin Donuts coffee. I take lots of pictures. I come from a giant family. If I’m not making fun of you, it means I don’t like you. I can spend all day bustin’ Yo Mama jokes even if I’m the only one listening.

I grew up in Phoenix, Arizona but now live in central Maryland. I worked in marketing but recently quit to go to school full-time for my nursing degree. If that doesn’t work out my back-up plan is to sell over-priced laundry detergent on TV and do cocaine until I overdose. That shit gets you famous, right?

My kiddos are hands-down the funnest things ever, except when they’re not, as kids sometimes are.  My son Taylor is six, and enjoys being a smart-ass, eating, and riding his skateboard down the street on his stomach.  We are very much alike which is probably why he drives me so insane even while I’m laughing at his awesome antics.  Maya, my daughter, is two and quite a little princess.  She is a fan of the color pink, things that are soft, and Cinnamon Life cereal.  She is so different from me in both looks and personality that I often speculate that she was switched at birth, but couldn’t be torn from her either way.

I don’t really know what to tell you to expect to read on here. It’s kind of just my… brain toilet. My imagination runs wild and often it speaks before thinking. I annoy myself. I’ll probably annoy you too.

For shits ‘n’ gigs, I also write tongue-in-cheek epicurean commentary over at How To Eat with a few of the funniest people I’ve ever met, and contribute my time to IndieInk.Org, a non-profit literary and art collective where you’ll find some of the best work by “unknowns” published on a daily basis.

I also offend people in 140-character spurts over on Twitter.

Other corners of the World Wide Webosphere that you can find me lurking in (BOO!):  Flickr. Dailybooth. Tumblr.

You can contact me at sarcasmically [at] gmail [dot] com. Do not email me to tell me that “sarcasmically” is not a real word. I know and I’m sorry that you have no imagination.


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