not a MILF, but a MWWTBAS

11 11 2010

I’ve been having a hard time figuring out if, and how to, write about a particular topic on this here website, and that topic is:

SEX.

It bothers me that I am even having mixed feelings on blogging about such a thing; I am usually so “anything goes” and open.  Why do I have reservations about this?  Finally, I figured it out– It’s because I’m a mom. Read the rest of this entry »

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i put the FUN in funeral (again)

6 10 2010

You’d think me giving you four solid ideas for ways to dispose of my decaying corpse in lieu of a typical boring funeral would be enough, but apparently not.  My twisted imagination doth not cease.

Last time, I made my “funeral” fun for you, because I’m selfless, or will be when I’m dead.  But this, the sequel, is a “do in death what I could not accomplish in life” version.  What I’m saying is, these ideas are things that will both get rid of the body and help me check things off my life list.  If you’ll be so kind to help my deceased person in the following ambitious endeavors, I’d appreciate it as much as the deceased can appreciate anything.  Read the rest of this entry »





i put the FUN in funeral

23 07 2010

Let’s talk about what is going to happen in the event of my death.  No, I am not dying tomorrow.  I’ll be 27 in a month though, and it is possible I will die shortly after that.  When I die, it is (obviously) up to someone else to handle my death party.  I do want my dear friends and family to be able to have some fun with my corpse– Let’s just get all the necrophilia jokes out of the way now.  You done?  Thanks. –before I start to decompose.  Assuming my body is in one piece (because I’d like to go out in a way that leaves me mangled, but that’s a post for a different day), there are many fun things you can do with a body before it gets too rank.  Let’s discuss…

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(what i’m saying is: yes, i eat like this all the time and stress has nothing to do with it and don’t question my love for cupcakes unless you like a good shanking)

19 07 2010






music as a metaphor for humans as a metaphor for me wishing humans were more like a good song

17 07 2010

I was sitting around enjoying a sno-cone earlier with my kids and listening to some newly acquired music.  In between the requests from my kids to see how purple my tongue had become, I was thinking about what key things I look for in my never-ending quest for good jams to air guitar listen to…  They are as follows:

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the truth keeps callin’ me and i’m gonna live to tell the story

15 07 2010

In a former life (as in, back when I was gainfully employed) I was in charge of about 150 pieces of heavy-haul equipment (semi-trucks and accessories) that were leased to clients nationwide.  I handled tracking them, making sure they were insured, registered, and keeping in general contact with the lessee so they did not just disappear from the face of the planet while in possession of our $100,000 trucks.  And sometimes… Nay, often, as the economy started taking it’s downturn screaming nosedive…  Often it was my job to coordinate and carry out repossessions.

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